artemy on internets

— Okay, so while we were going out, how often would you pretend to like things just to have sex with me?
— All the time.

— Oh, it’s not a date, Leonard.It’s just a man and a woman hanging out, not having sex at the end of the night.
— Sounds like most of my dates.

— Did we just see you pick up a girl in a comic book store? Cause if you did, you get your picture up there on the Wall of Heroes.
— No, I don’t think I picked her up. Besides, I have a girlfriend.
— Doesn’t matter. This is the closest anyone’s ever come. You’re going on the wall, my friend.

—Hon, you think, maybe the reason why you’re having trouble finding a guy to settle down with is because you’re letting them ride the roller coaster without buying a ticket?
—Oh, they don’t always get to ride the roller coaster. Sometimes they only get to spin the teacups.